Bile

Do you want me to stay?

You want me to go, make me want to leave.

You want me to stay.

Lie in my bed and take my home from me.

Confusion-borne frustration. Mixed reactions.

Barbed words.

You hurt out of love. Do you? Is it?

I can be there, I will. I am.

You don't see. Why would you.

Duty crosses love.

Dilutes chemical romances.

You should have-

I should have been a better son

This highway of love ends at resentment avenue. No reverse gear either.

I could never back unscathed anyway: the mirrors are wrong. Always wrong

I can puke this juvenile shit and spread the bile evenly across the page. Let the chunks collect, pick out the scraps of last night's truth.

Should I cry? I always do don't I? Remember?

You know what's best for me.

You want what's best for me.

Maybe that isn't you.

Maybe it scares you. Eats you. Remove your very purpose and identity.

Have my choices ever mattered? Do they now? Should they?

You were to be my anchor, keeping the doubts sunk in their swamp.

Unfettered words cause such rust don't they?

Doubt now raises the black and pillages my shore.

You can carve out my life, fashion me a puppet.

You can't see the strings can you? Its magic.

Make me dance for them.

It's about them, isn't it?

I'll dance, play the part, put on a show.

For what?

A speeding staccato of applause? A commendation?

I don't need those, don't want them.

They were yours to take anyway.

Nothing left for me.

I can pull out my pockets if you'd like.

Empty, see?

Even the vomit is at the bottom now.