Slow dance on the high seas - Ch. 1

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

The words stammered out of his mouth as the glass clanged to a stop on the hardwood deck.

She sat stock-still, drenched in the remains of a Pina-Colada.

She slowly raised her hands, and removed her big splattered sunglasses as he looked on, mortified.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sor-" she silenced the wash of apologies with an upraised hand.

His eyes just grew wider, threatening to engulf his entire face.

She couldn't help but smile at the cuteness of his terror.

"It's okay, it's okay!" she said getting up and assessing the damage. Her baggy shirt was soaked through to her shorts and part of her brown hair stuck awkwardly to her head.

He looked like he was about to cry.

Looking to and fro like a trapped animal, he spied and leapt for a towel.

"I'm so so sorry," he awkwardly dabbed at her face and hair as she just sat bemused at his predicament.

"It really is okay, you know," she said through her widening smile.

He paused.

His head slightly tilted to the side, and he stared transfixed at her, as if seeing her a new.

"You're beautiful," he breathed un-lucidly.

She stared right back at him, heart beating in her ears.

He snapped his head down, blushing profusely as he realised he had said it out loud.

"I'msosorry," the words tumbled out of his mouth, eyes still boring holes in the floor.

"Shush," she said, pink creeping onto her cheeks.

She hesitated for a moment.

"Hey, umm, you want to sit with me for a bit?" she asked.

As if in a fevered daze, he looked up, eyes wide as ever, nodded quickly and sat down a bit too fast at the foot of her long-chair.

Awkward silence ensued. She continued to dab at her clothes absent-mindedly, looking at him from the corner of her eye. He stared at his shoes, stealing glances at her.

Their eyes met.

"I'm Jay."

'I'm Roo."

They blurted at the same time, and quickly looked away, blush intensifying.

Jay took a breath.

"So, ummm, what brings you here?'

"I don't know, what brings any of us anywhere?"

He just stared at her, mouth slightly open in amazement.

She looked down, embarrassed smiling playing on her lips.

He laughed.

"God, you're amazing," he said before he could stop himself, and looked away again.

It was her turn to laugh, "you're quite something yourself. Do you compliment all the girls you spill cocktails on?"

With his cheeks burning red, he looked at her and said, "I don't know what's come over me, I'm never like this, so forward and stuff, I just saw you and couldn't stop staring and I spilled all over you and I'm so sorry and yeah."

She laughs heartily. He looks down completely crimson with embarrassment.

"Hey hey no, hey look at me," she says placing her hand on him. "I'm telling you it's okay, okay? You are so sweet for telling me that and being honest with me. It means a lot okay."

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. He managed a shy smile and looked at her again.

"You're really beautiful Roo."

"Thanks Jay, you really are too," she said softly.

The revelled in the natural connection between them.

Jay suddenly got up. "Hey Roo, can I buy you a drink? I'd love to start over and talk to you," he said sheepishly.

"I would love to!" she beamed. "Let me just change and I'll meet you at the bar in 10 minutes?"

"That's perfect!" Jay could barely hold his excitement. "I"ll see you in just a bit!"

"Just a bit, Jay."

Migraine

You ever have that pain which you can feel behind your eyes?

It prods and pushes, always there.

It's happening right now. Tiny sounds echo inside the empty halls of your cranium. Your head feels like its an anvil. Not that an anvil is resting on top of it, squeezing down on you, no, your head is the anvil squeezing down on your neck, your spine, making your eyes pop, teethe grind into dust, until you are a pulpy splatter.

Bile bubbles at the base of your throat. You feel a burning cold. Your toes go numb.

The funny thing though? Is when the physical bleeds into the emotional.

The pain makes you think funny things. Not ha-ha funny mind you, more like "we are all going to fucking die fucking painfully, isn't that fucking hilarious" funny.

Your brain is mush. It's stale pudding in your head, coming out of your ears, eyes, mouth and other orifices you didn't even knew you had. Your temples are protruding like throbbing horns.

Your eyes cant focus. You cannot look at a single point for more than a second. They move independently from one another. Like seeking escape form the sinking ship that is your mortal coil.

Bile

Do you want me to stay?

You want me to go, make me want to leave.

You want me to stay.

Lie in my bed and take my home from me.

Confusion-borne frustration. Mixed reactions.

Barbed words.

You hurt out of love. Do you? Is it?

I can be there, I will. I am.

You don't see. Why would you.

Duty crosses love.

Dilutes chemical romances.

You should have-

I should have been a better son

This highway of love ends at resentment avenue. No reverse gear either.

I could never back unscathed anyway: the mirrors are wrong. Always wrong

I can puke this juvenile shit and spread the bile evenly across the page. Let the chunks collect, pick out the scraps of last night's truth.

Should I cry? I always do don't I? Remember?

You know what's best for me.

You want what's best for me.

Maybe that isn't you.

Maybe it scares you. Eats you. Remove your very purpose and identity.

Have my choices ever mattered? Do they now? Should they?

You were to be my anchor, keeping the doubts sunk in their swamp.

Unfettered words cause such rust don't they?

Doubt now raises the black and pillages my shore.

You can carve out my life, fashion me a puppet.

You can't see the strings can you? Its magic.

Make me dance for them.

It's about them, isn't it?

I'll dance, play the part, put on a show.

For what?

A speeding staccato of applause? A commendation?

I don't need those, don't want them.

They were yours to take anyway.

Nothing left for me.

I can pull out my pockets if you'd like.

Empty, see?

Even the vomit is at the bottom now.

Nights

Magic was supposed to be real
Only at 4a.ms
But you are Gallifreyan aren't you?
Time is your element

A frozen slice of tachyons
Eternal night blanketing us
We lay there
Facing one another
Your cool radiance
Zephyr on my skin

We've always known each other haven't we?
Spun together in the web of stories
Our threads intertwined
Each supporting the other
Making me, you strong

Unbreakable

Pretending our genesis
Slipping into our own skins
Of earlier days
In different worlds
It always leads to the same divine
Epiphany

We are meant to be
I am meant to be yours
As you are meant to be mine
It is fate, I call it
Purpose

We keep colliding
On slumbering shores
The foam of our reveries
Melting us
Making us one

As we are meant to be

We lie here in the warm dark
Lucid and not
Dreaming and awake
Together
We will make our infinity

Distance

The empty seat to the left 

a vacant reminder 

of shut calls and silent goodbyes

Its never supposed to end you know

one medium ends

the next springs up

hungry, keeping the silence

at bay

Teeming traffic, rash driving

flashing tail lights, blaring horns

epileptic metaphors:

its the same up here

Parents, focused on forward intent

no spare look for empty backseats

the buzzing din in their shadow 

it grows louder into silence

Our words are barren

desolate, Pompeii post ash

each vibration

a lurch, a boil, a swallow

Begging kids

with dry crying faces

plastered on the thin windows

the tiny divide between 

Filling the silence with your songs

a sonic apparition 

your static form

clinging to my neck and ears

its all static now

a shake in my palm 

your ghost reaches out

one word

one word changes everything

one word is enough

its a solid reminder

of the oath inscribed on our wrists

of our cardiac promise

You're beautiful

our amour

my ecstasy 

iloveyou

Nineteen with no tats

Nineteen with no tats
Through tinted specs
They don't see you like I do

The butterflies
A shoulder to hip cascade
Purple wings and blues

The fleeting ravens 
Soaring ephemeral on your arm 
Inky black

A leaf on the wind 
Caught in the breeze of your step
Paint stained tears

Le je ne sais (pas) quois
Dessous votre cœur
Notre stylo violette

The music notes
Dancing on reverb wrist
Twinkling copper dust

The robin 
Forever shoulder perched
Tittering a sea-green tune

The ring
Curled tight around your finger
Infinite shades of promise

I see you 
The platitudes of uninked skin
Let's write all our favourite songs




- Happy birthday Princess


 (Published in Pankhearst's Fresh November 2015 Issue.)