The Pseudo-Scientific Journal of Radical Medicine.
I bring to your notice the not so well known malady so far named "Chronic CA Syndrome".
A truly terrifying disease, the symptoms fascinatingly manifest in two seemingly separate ways.
Case 1:
The patient suffers from acute depression, hopelessness and sense of inferiority. Some patients have been observed constantly muttering the phrase "kahan phans gaya hou mein", usually preceded and followed by swearing.
When questioned, patients cited loss of high-school friends to prestigious universities, "shitty" studying environments in "third-grade glorified tuition centers", "crap" teachers who "mess up concepts", and constant failure as the top reasons for chronic moroseness.
Patients display overly "downer" behavior and become "boring" conversationalists as their tendency to complain sharply rises.
Treatment is to "get over yourself", "accept and be grateful for your life" and to severely avoid "competition with your friends, coworkers and everyone really".
Case 2:
The patient becomes what experts can only describe as "an insufferable asshole".
The patient's ego suffers severe and in some cases irreversible expansion. This results in increased spewage of "verbal bile and bullshit". The patient's mind becomes addled and the patient firmly believes that only they know every detail about all careers, qualifications, the economy.
Further deterioration causes the patient to launch into un-asked for lectures on how "everyone is messing up their careers and lives" and should only follow what they are deliriously saying.
Unfortunately at this stage, the patient emits toxic fumes (category: gianticus assholicus) which causes people, animals and even some species of plants around the patient to flee and abhor the patient.
Unfortunately there is no cure. Such patients must be quarantined immediately. Preferably until they learn to "stfu". Or forever, nobody would really care.
I bring to your notice the not so well known malady so far named "Chronic CA Syndrome".
A truly terrifying disease, the symptoms fascinatingly manifest in two seemingly separate ways.
Case 1:
The patient suffers from acute depression, hopelessness and sense of inferiority. Some patients have been observed constantly muttering the phrase "kahan phans gaya hou mein", usually preceded and followed by swearing.
When questioned, patients cited loss of high-school friends to prestigious universities, "shitty" studying environments in "third-grade glorified tuition centers", "crap" teachers who "mess up concepts", and constant failure as the top reasons for chronic moroseness.
Patients display overly "downer" behavior and become "boring" conversationalists as their tendency to complain sharply rises.
Treatment is to "get over yourself", "accept and be grateful for your life" and to severely avoid "competition with your friends, coworkers and everyone really".
Case 2:
The patient becomes what experts can only describe as "an insufferable asshole".
The patient's ego suffers severe and in some cases irreversible expansion. This results in increased spewage of "verbal bile and bullshit". The patient's mind becomes addled and the patient firmly believes that only they know every detail about all careers, qualifications, the economy.
Further deterioration causes the patient to launch into un-asked for lectures on how "everyone is messing up their careers and lives" and should only follow what they are deliriously saying.
Unfortunately at this stage, the patient emits toxic fumes (category: gianticus assholicus) which causes people, animals and even some species of plants around the patient to flee and abhor the patient.
Unfortunately there is no cure. Such patients must be quarantined immediately. Preferably until they learn to "stfu". Or forever, nobody would really care.
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